A Modest Proposal: The Dark Side(satire)

      I have explored the depths of twitter. I know what is needed in a tweet to gain a satisfying amount of favorites. I'm a master at instagraming and I am among the most talented at snapchatting. However, throughout all of my experiences in the world of social media, I have also witnessed the dark side. I have seen how people hide behind their phone screens and hate. I have seen people base their entire social status on the number of likes/favorites they get. This, my friends, is a true problem.
     Three out of five American kids witness bullying on their favorite social media accounts everyday. Take a look at the comments on your best friends picture, You'll most likely see a few subtly  rude comments about the way her hair looks or the shirt she's wearing. If you could view someone's DMs on their twitter account, you would see that just about everyone has a little fight going on between them and their ex-boyfriends new girl. Listen hard to the conversations that group of girls are having in lunch. "She only got like fifty likes on that selfie.","I checked and only one guy liked her picture!", "Ew did you see her caption?". All of those are things that you would definitely hear within the first ten minutes. Ask yourselves, should these people really have the privilege of using these social media networks?
      I have deeply considered this question and many of the solutions to it. After much thought I have come to the conclusion that there is only one effective way to solve the issue. People who consciously decide to use their accounts to spread hate, should be sent, along with their phones to an already decided island in the Caribbean with no connection to Wi-Fi. There they can dwell, for the rest of their lives, on their mistakes. They can stare at their phones, going crazy, only wishing there was some connection so they could fulfill their guilty pleasures. You might ask how they could possibly be convinced to leave their homes and be brought to the island, well I have the answer to that question as well. They would be abducted in the night with a note left for their families explaining where they are and a brochure that lists the conditions they will be held in and the days available for family/friend visits. Check the already printed information packet for details.
     One may ask, "How does approving this proposal benefit me?". Well, my friends, the answer is all too simple. People spend their whole lives looking for peace and happiness in one form or another. Is not having to constantly worry about you child being a subject to harmful comments not a form of peace? Parents want noting more than for their kids to grow up in a safe, judgment free environment where they can express themselves. By eliminating the people that threaten that idea, Parents and children alike can rest assured that they can use social media without suffering any kind of negative consequences.
     The families will almost certainly have objections but I have thoughtfully anticipated these as well. They will suggest that this far too extreme, that it's much too harsh, that we have no right to do such an uncivil thing to their children. Let me ask them the question, is it really too extreme? Or was the act of you or your child deciding they could be mean to someone by abusing their social media accounts the extreme action? Let me ask a few questions, was it not harsh for you or your child to use the privilege of todays social media world to make someone else's life worse? Was there anything civil about commenting rude statements on that girl's selfie or tweeting about how bad that guy did in his baseball game? Answer those questions.
      All in all, there are a number of advantages to approving my plan. Parents will not need to monitor their children's use of social media accounts to ensure that they wont be judged. Instead they can have peace of mind knowing that the people that previously abused their rights to social media are taken care of and wont be causing trouble any longer. Just the idea that wrong doers will not go unpunished is an advantage in itself. To sum it up, the people to live in the light of the social media world will no longer have to avoid the darkness because it will be exposed.
      Others have proposed another idea. They think that filters should be designed to that when one wants to post a comment or picture it will be edited of all rude language/intent or otherwise declined in order to ensure that everything posted will be respectful and suitable for viewing. These I can promise, will prove to be unreliable and leave our society with the same problem. For this very reason I implore you to consider my modest proposal as the most effective solution to this issue.

hybridized fanfiction

Annabeth: PERCY! WATCH OUT!!!
Percy: OH GODS, what is that? Should I kill it?
Annabeth: Wait, it's changing. What in the Hades is going on.
Percy: It's a dude now. Hahaha that's sick. Hey man what even are you?
Jacob: Who are you!? Where's Renesmae? I'll kill you if you did something to her!
Percy: Woah man, I don't know who Ren- whoever you said is but dude, you were just a huge wolfe.
Renesmae: Um jake...
Percy: So how does the whole wolf to man thing work-
Jacob: Oh shoot, um uhhhh... I need some clothes.
Percy: Oh sure! No big deal, some wolf slash dude comes barging onto my boat out of no where and keeps ignoring me, but don't worry I'll hand over a pair of my nice pants
Annabeth: Gods Percy, don't be a gáidaros hole, get him some pants.
Percy: You're joking-
Annabeth: Percy!
Percy: Alright alright I'm going.
Jacob: Hey I'm Jacob, and I'm a werewolf if you haven't figured it out yet.
Annabeth: I'm Annabeth Chase and that was my boyfriend Percy.
Jacob: Hah, he's your boyfriend? Alright, well I guess you could say that beautiful Renesmae is my girlfriend.
Renesmae: Hello there Annabeth.
Annabeth: Renesmae, that's an interesting name.
Percy: Alright, I'm not sure what size you are in Levis but I also have this pair from Vans that you could use. I mean it's your call.
Jacob: Definitely the Levis. Well, they might rip a little because my legs are obviously a lot bigger than yours, hope that's okay with you.
Percy: Oh by all means Mr. Macho Man sir.
Jacob: Well I could use my legs to kick your big mouth in instead?
Percy: You mean that's not your name? My mistake it seemed so obvious.
Jacob: Oh really-
Annabeth: Percy stop.
Renesmae: Jake there's no sense in fighting with him.
Jacob: Whatever you say goes
*makeout
Percy: Why don't we ever do that?
Annabeth: *blushes
Percy: Awwww
Annabeth: Shut up.
Jacob: Hey, where are Edward and Bella??
Bella: Some say the world will end in fire, some say ice. But from what I've tasted of desire, I favor fire-
Renesmae: Um mom?
Bella: Wait where are we Edward?
Annabeth: Uh hi.
Percy: Hah so we got werewolves and here are the vampires.
Edward: How did you know that?!
Bella: Edward, what else does he know?
Percy: Woah waoh, are you serious!? Please don't suck my blood!
Annabeth: I don't think they'll find our blood desireable. We're half god, half human, demigods.
Edward: You got lucky, my wife here is quite the hunter.
Bella: Don't exaggerate.
Percy: Okay, I'm kinda freaking out right now.
Annabeth: This is an amazing opportunity for me to study vampires and werewolves, could you give me and background or facts?
Renesmae: If you can get them to stop kissing for long enough, I'm sure they'd be happy to.
Jacob: Speaking of kissing...
*makeout
Percy: Uhhhh
Bella: No one has evey loved anyone as much as I love you.
Edward: You're so beautiful...
*makeout
Percy: Hey Annabeth, " You're so beautiful"...
Annabeth: Shut up Percy *blushes

Humor: It's the end

                                                            

 

Sometimes when you're walking through life you fall. For instance you may find yourself at the end of a once romantic and seeming perfect relationship. You begin telling yourself that it's not the end, someone new will come around. Your parents and friends assure you that everything will be alright and they're sorry, but it's time to move on. News flash, it is the end! Yeah yeah when you fall you get back up blah blah blah. They think they're so wise with their words of advice. Well tell me this, how am I supposed to get up if I'm literally on the floor crying 24/7? I'm surrounded in a pool of tears and I ran out of makeup last week! How am I supposed to get on with life if makeup is at the store and I'm in my bed mourning the loss of my social life? Oh and there's someone else out there for me, no no no. He was the only one for me! We were adorable! I'm not just saying that, it's a fact, all of my besties told me. So if I could move on with my life don't you think I would!? Listen up, people tell you that life moves on. Come on, if life really moved on then I wouldn't be sitting here in sweatpants and looking at my phone screen through puffy eyes. The only good advice I've heard so far is the good die young. Amen to that! You're welcome for the advice.

Spoken Word: Words of advice

When you walk into a new school and you want to hide and not say a word,
speak up.
It's your right to be noticed.
When the girl sitting next to you in math class says hello,
keep the conversation going.
She's your first friend.
When you see that lunch table full of pretty girls,
sit down with them.
They're too insecure to ask you.
When that girl with black hair, black lips, dark eyeliner, and cuts on her arms looks in your direction, smile.
She doesn't want to go home.
When that good-looking boy says you look nice,
say thank you.
That's what he's looking for.
When your best friend asks you if you seriously talk to the "pot heads",
say yes.
Tell her she should too.
When the captain of the football team says that you shouldn't talk to that gay kid anymore,
Tell him to give you one good reason.
He won't say a word.
When that kid you've given everything to tells you that your selfish and you don't care about him,
Say goodbye.
He doesn't deserve you.
When that new kid walks into your school and she wants to hide and not say a word,
tell her to speak up.

Poetry: Holmezonian verse

Black. Intimidating. Unknown.
No one. No one knows what lies
under your cloak of darkness.
Only the wicked
find refuge in your outstretched arms.
Under your protection,
thieves prowl about. They steal.
Murderers find their way
through locked doors.
They kill.
The unfaithful fulfill their
guilty pleasures while cradled
in your tight embrace.
The young run to their mothers
to save them from the horrors
you bring to their minds.
The mourners find no rest
beneath your shadows.
They cry out in despair
for the love ones they have lost.
Now we know what lies beneath
your cloak. One thing.
Only sin.

free verse poem: a seed

A new belief
just like a seed
water it and
see how it then
grows
plant it among
others of its kind
see how it prospers
watch and see
it flourish and find
color.
The wind will blow
and try to sway
those new found beliefs
but the roots are
spread down deep
and it finds faith
in their
strength.
though seasons change
and cold times
come around.
The new colors
mean nothing but
new growth
slowly
as it becomes
big enough to
prosper.
small fruits of
faith and new life
are spread under
its leaves
and new belief
begins again
just like a seed.

1)I need to extend some of the stanzas and line by line needs refinement. Also, I need to look at the order and structure of the stanzas. I need to focus on diction and explore on some of my ideas.

A new belief
 a seed
water it
and see how it
grows
plant it among
others of its kind
see how it
prospers
watch and see
it flourish and find
color.
The wind will blow
and try to sway
those new found beliefs
droughts will come
and leaves will
fall
but the roots are
spread down
deep
and it finds faith
in their
strength.
though seasons change
and frost
comes around.
The different colors
mean nothing but
new growth.
slowly, it becomes
big enough to
prosper.
more seeds come forth
buds become small
fruits of faith
and new life
they spread under its leaves
and new life
begins again
a seed.

2) I still need to extend on some ideas and change the diction in certain areas to make it more meaningful. Also I need to separate the stanzas. Add title.

A seed

A new belief 
 a seed
water it
and see how it
grows.
plant it among
others of its kind
see how it
prospers.
watch and see
it flourish and find
color.

The wind will blow
and try to sway
those new found beliefs
droughts will come
and leaves will
fall.

But the roots are
spread down
deep
and it finds faith
in their
strength.
though seasons change
and frost
comes around.
The different colors
mean nothing but
new growth.

Slowly, it becomes
big enough to
prosper.
more seeds come forth
buds become small
fruits of faith
and new ideas
they spread under its leaves.
They cover
and take over
all the grass
and dirt around.
and new life
begins again
a seed.

concrete poem: blue

up then down
       this way then
           that way.
      only one thing
   constant. color.
blue. always blue.
   sometimes bright.
       dark. sparkling or
           still. but always
               blue. the same blue
           which carries beauty and
        grace, is home to the
    creatures that kill. we
look upon this blue with
    affection and longing
        but always know.
            underneath is horror.
         mixed with beauty.
      but always blue. blue.
           blue.