Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Thursday, October 23, 2014
This letter is simply about you. The way you seem to think you're better than everyone. The way you think you have the right to treat people like they're not as good as you etc. I remember when I first saw you. I thought you were the most beautiful person and honestly I envied you. But of course in your eyes that should be some one's natural reaction when first meeting you. Anyways, back to
you being beautiful. Yes, your outward appearance is stunning, however after being your partner in various classes and hearing the way you talk about me and other people, I have come to strongly believe in the saying that beauty isn't just a matter of what's on the outside, but is even more importantly a matter of what its like inside of you. As a result, I tend to step away from describing you as beautiful, and will now more accurately refer to you unpleasant. Unpleasantly moody, unpleasantly rude, unpleasantly stuck up, unhappy, and obnoxious. I can see the judgment flickering in your eyes when someone talks about something you're not interested in. I sense the negative vibes you let off when attention shifts from you to someone else. The sarcastic comments you make when you're trying to make someone uncomfortable are all to obvious. I understand, for something not to revolve around planet you is beyond your capacity to grasp, but maybe you should try using a filter every once in while? Just to be clear, you can continue surviving off of the people that enjoy your, in a way, unbearable, personality but I think that I enjoy the happy, pleasant, and joyful life that doesn't exist on your own little planet and I'll come back down to planet earth.( And think I'll be followed by everyone else.)
Monday, October 20, 2014
It was a day and seven hours ago that she was in her mom's cozy living room surrounded by all of her little nieces and nephews putting ornaments on the Christmas tree. The adults were drinking red wine and hardily laughing while the kids sipped hot coca. Everything was just as it should be. Probably every other family in The Mountain Estates was doing the exact same thing. Everything was okay.
In the midst of all the cheery conversing, Annie slipped into the kitchen, opened her laptop and called Chris on Skype. When she saw his face appear on the screen as he answered her call all the way in Iraq, she let out a deep breath and smiled. "My girl gets even more beautiful everyday." They talked about their days just like any other married couple would and explained to each other the highs and lows. Annie reached out and touched the screen wishing she could kiss the handsome face in front of her. Everything was okay
"Baby I have to go and I wont be able to call you tomorrow." It was okay though. She knew the she would be able to talk to him the next day. Maybe not in person but as long as she could see his face, she knew everything was okay. "Before I go I have one more thing to tell you. Tomorrow I can't Skype but is it okay if I just hug and kiss you instead?"
For a minute she didn't know what he was telling her. But her eyes lit up just like the Christmas tree would and she screamed as she realized what he was saying.
"Chris is coming home!" She snatched up the laptop and ran to the living room. Annie announced to everyone, "Chris is coming home for Christmas!" The family cheered and raised their glasses. Everything was more than okay, it was perfect.
It was Christmas Eve and Annie got up really early to get ready so she would look perfect for Chris. She waved through the frost covered window of her jeep to her family. She then drove off through the thin layer of snow. Annie was headed to the airport and listening to Christmas music. Everything was okay.
But now, it was dark out. It was Christmas Eve. Fog stuck to the tarmac on Lindbergh Field. Annie was still sitting there hours later because Chris' flight never landed. Chris was not there. Nothing was okay.
P.S. I agree with her, I wrote about death in my short story.
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Oh yes of course, she's absolutely wonderful! I'm so proud of her. All her life I've brought her to church, taught her good morals and made sure she was on the right track. We've had our ups and downs but we're in a really good spot. She seems to be drinking in all of the good and pure parts of life. I don't deserve a daughter like her
Everyday is the same, I wake up, get ready for school and she wishes me a good day. Some days I'm walking to lunch with just enough alone time to start feeling guilty about the things I said about my mom. She's so confident in me so when I look into my lunch bag, I find a heart shaped note written in perfect cursive, "Sweetie, I'm so proud of the person you're becoming. Have a good day:)." of course the guilt starts to come back but it doesn't get very far before I'm distracted by one of my friends that's calling me. The girl my mom is so proud of walks away swearing and forgets all about her guilt. She wouldn't be proud of her "real" daughter. But now that I think of it, maybe the real me is the honest, sweet and happy girl I am around my mom? Maybe the person I am when I'm away from her is the cover up for who I am with my mom? Lie number 3.
I'm not going to lie, it's hard to let her go out and not wonder if she's doing the right thing and staying inside of the boundaries. It's hard, but I know that I don't need to worry, she's never given me a reason to mistrust her.
I think that one of the main reasons she's so confident in me is that I've never been caught doing anything bad. Like I said before, in her eyes she has no reason to question me. To be sincerely honest, sometimes I wish she did have a reason. But let me make this clear, I don't wake up excided and ready to go to school and become a different person. I just know I will. Sometimes I look in the mirror and tell my self that I can't do the same thing again. I look straight into my blue eyes and tell myself it's time to change. No matter how much I try to make myself listen, there's always this little voice right in the back corner of my brain that reminds me of the part of myself that doesn't want to change. It makes sure I know that I'm lying to myself, and most of the time it's right.
She tells me everything, her problems, what she's happy about, and asks me for help when things get too hard. We have a great relationship and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
When she asks me how my day was, I tell her it was great. When she asks me to tell her about my day, I avoid talking about myself by telling her a story about one of my friends. Also, I do this thing where I tell her about all the bad things some people are getting into and how much some kids lie to their parents. By doing this I guess I'm just trying to get her opinion on the "real" me without telling her it's actually me I'm referring to. Even though it usually works, sometimes it makes me mad. I hear her tell me how wrong what "they're "doing is and I start yelling at her and defending them because I don't want anymore guilt. I know. I'm fake. I know it but she can't know.
I can truthfully say that I don't want to change anything about myself, my daughter, or our life. I'm aware that nobody has it perfect but it doesn't get much better than this.
Yes I get it! I understand that what I'm doing is wrong but I don't know what to do? If I tell her all that I'm telling you then she'll never trust me again and she would be so hurt. I can't do that to her! I don't hide all this for myself, I'm doing it for her. Lie number 4. No one wants to change this more than I do. I want to so bad! I just don't know how. Lie numb- yeah I know, I know. I guess that's a lie too. Okay I know it's a lie. People say that if you want something really bad you'll work for it and nothing can get in your way. I guess that if I cared enough I would already be over all this. Well there's nothing I can do now. Lie number 6.
Yes, everything's great. That's a fact, and I know nothing could be better. Lie number 1.
Friday, October 3, 2014
Merri: Oh my Gosh Jess look at this! The new season of Free is available! And the anime is so
good this yea-
Jess: HOLY CRAPP Dylan wont freaking text me back! Like who the heck does he think he is?
Merri: and OMG they're so hot this season, I looove Japanese swimmer boys.
Jess: No one cares Meredith, why aren't you listening to me? This is serious. Do you honestly think I want to hear about that dumb show. Literally he's an idiot!
Merri: Wow Jess thanks so much. You're the biggest jerk and Dylan is a loser so don't expect him to give two craps about you.
Jess: He is a loser but he's hot so I don't care! Literally just let me be happy for once.
Merri: He's not even hot
Jess: Maybe it's my butt that he doesn't like.... I love my butt though! It's so cute!
Merri: Ok I'm done talking to you.
Jess: You're honestly so mean to me! Just because I don't wanna talk about stupid loser shows that like doesn't mean you have to be a jerk- OMG HE TEXTED ME!!! I'm scared, omg open it for
Merri: Jessica, I'm not opening your disgusting messages.
Jess: UGGH you're the most annoying person...Wow he just said, "lol" I hate him
Merri: Let"s go swim!
Jess: Yes! We should invite-
Jess: But I look so cute in my Bath-
Jess: OMG fine!
They get ready to go in the pool and Jess comes out.
Merri: Jessica you are my beautiful princess! You look adorable!
Jess: Ahhhh yeah I know right! Jk jk! But for real I am adorable aren't I?
Merri: Mmmm yep, totally.
Jess: Let’s snapchat Dylan cute swimming pics!
Merri: Haha okay!
Jess: Does my butt look attractive in this one?
Merri: You need to chill. You don’t have to impress him in every picture you take!
Jess: Holy crap Merri, you’re so annoying! You don’t need to be so obnoxious! Ugh my stupid mom is being so annoying right now! She’s like, “Love you, be safe!” honestly who does she think she is?
Merri: OH MY GOSH JESS THAT’S WHY YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS! Your mom is so freaking nice to you! You talk trash about everyone and think you’re so much better than them but people have so many reasons to make fun of you! You're so lucky you even have "friends"
Jess: Chill! She is annoying!
Merri: Honestly you spend your entire life obsessing over this stupid boy and complaining! Get over yourself!
Jess: Just because all my friends aren’t lesbian and I like boys doesn’t mean I have an obsession!
Merri: I really don’t even know why I’m still "friends" with you.
Jess: Omg chill.
Merri: The only reason we’re still friends is because you’ve never changed, you’ve always been the boy cazy, wanna be bad girl-
Jess: Hahaha I am a bad girl!
Merri: No you’re freaking not! Ugh I can’t handle being around you for more than a few hours.
Jess: You should be all rebellious with me some time! OMG it's so fun!
Merri: I’m not talking to you until I get an apology!
Jess: Stop being so dramatic literally! Yay Dylan just texted me again!
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
- Francesca (60 Seconds... Or Not...)- I really liked how she used sarcasm in your writing and even though it was mostly made up of different advise and her comments on that advice, it was a really good piece of writing. Also it was really fun to read.
- Jacob V. (Lackadaisical Self Deprecation)- All the similes he used to describe what his room looked like really helped me picture it.
- Jessica N. ( 3am)- I loved how you made the dialogue in your story sound exactly how you would say things. It sounded just like a teenage girl was talking.