Monday, December 15, 2014

hybridized fanfiction

Annabeth: PERCY! WATCH OUT!!!
Percy: OH GODS, what is that? Should I kill it?
Annabeth: Wait, it's changing. What in the Hades is going on.
Percy: It's a dude now. Hahaha that's sick. Hey man what even are you?
Jacob: Who are you!? Where's Renesmae? I'll kill you if you did something to her!
Percy: Woah man, I don't know who Ren- whoever you said is but dude, you were just a huge wolfe.
Renesmae: Um jake...
Percy: So how does the whole wolf to man thing work-
Jacob: Oh shoot, um uhhhh... I need some clothes.
Percy: Oh sure! No big deal, some wolf slash dude comes barging onto my boat out of no where and keeps ignoring me, but don't worry I'll hand over a pair of my nice pants
Annabeth: Gods Percy, don't be a gáidaros hole, get him some pants.
Percy: You're joking-
Annabeth: Percy!
Percy: Alright alright I'm going.
Jacob: Hey I'm Jacob, and I'm a werewolf if you haven't figured it out yet.
Annabeth: I'm Annabeth Chase and that was my boyfriend Percy.
Jacob: Hah, he's your boyfriend? Alright, well I guess you could say that beautiful Renesmae is my girlfriend.
Renesmae: Hello there Annabeth.
Annabeth: Renesmae, that's an interesting name.
Percy: Alright, I'm not sure what size you are in Levis but I also have this pair from Vans that you could use. I mean it's your call.
Jacob: Definitely the Levis. Well, they might rip a little because my legs are obviously a lot bigger than yours, hope that's okay with you.
Percy: Oh by all means Mr. Macho Man sir.
Jacob: Well I could use my legs to kick your big mouth in instead?
Percy: You mean that's not your name? My mistake it seemed so obvious.
Jacob: Oh really-
Annabeth: Percy stop.
Renesmae: Jake there's no sense in fighting with him.
Jacob: Whatever you say goes
Percy: Why don't we ever do that?
Annabeth: *blushes
Percy: Awwww
Annabeth: Shut up.
Jacob: Hey, where are Edward and Bella??
Bella: Some say the world will end in fire, some say ice. But from what I've tasted of desire, I favor fire-
Renesmae: Um mom?
Bella: Wait where are we Edward?
Annabeth: Uh hi.
Percy: Hah so we got werewolves and here are the vampires.
Edward: How did you know that?!
Bella: Edward, what else does he know?
Percy: Woah waoh, are you serious!? Please don't suck my blood!
Annabeth: I don't think they'll find our blood desireable. We're half god, half human, demigods.
Edward: You got lucky, my wife here is quite the hunter.
Bella: Don't exaggerate.
Percy: Okay, I'm kinda freaking out right now.
Annabeth: This is an amazing opportunity for me to study vampires and werewolves, could you give me and background or facts?
Renesmae: If you can get them to stop kissing for long enough, I'm sure they'd be happy to.
Jacob: Speaking of kissing...
Percy: Uhhhh
Bella: No one has evey loved anyone as much as I love you.
Edward: You're so beautiful...
Percy: Hey Annabeth, " You're so beautiful"...
Annabeth: Shut up Percy *blushes

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Humor: It's the end

Sometimes when you're walking through life you fall. For instance you may find yourself at the end of a once romantic and seeming perfect relationship. You begin telling yourself that it's not the end, someone new will come around. Your parents and friends assure you that everything will be alright and they're sorry, but it's time to move on. News flash, it is the end! Yeah yeah when you fall you get back up blah blah blah. They think they're so wise with their words of advice. Well tell me this, how am I supposed to get up if I'm literally on the floor crying 24/7? I'm surrounded in a pool of tears and I ran out of makeup last week! How am I supposed to get on with life if makeup is at the store and I'm in my bed mourning the loss of my social life? Oh and there's someone else out there for me, no no no. He was the only one for me! We were adorable! I'm not just saying that, it's a fact, all of my besties told me. So if I could move on with my life don't you think I would!? Listen up, people tell you that life moves on. Come on, if life really moved on then I wouldn't be sitting here in sweatpants and looking at my phone screen through puffy eyes. The only good advice I've heard so far is the good die young. Amen to that! You're welcome for the advice.

Friday, December 5, 2014

Spoken Word: Words of advice

When you walk into a new school and you want to hide and not say a word,
speak up.
It's your right to be noticed.
When the girl sitting next to you in math class says hello,
keep the conversation going.
She's your first friend.
When you see that lunch table full of pretty girls,
sit down with them.
They're too insecure to ask you.
When that girl with black hair, black lips, dark eyeliner, and cuts on her arms looks in your direction, smile.
She doesn't want to go home.
When that good-looking boy says you look nice,
say thank you.
That's what he's looking for.
When your best friend asks you if you seriously talk to the "pot heads",
say yes.
Tell her she should too.
When the captain of the football team says that you shouldn't talk to that gay kid anymore,
Tell him to give you one good reason.
He won't say a word.
When that kid you've given everything to tells you that your selfish and you don't care about him,
Say goodbye.
He doesn't deserve you.
When that new kid walks into your school and she wants to hide and not say a word,
tell her to speak up.