Thursday, September 18, 2014

Electric Red: Self Depracation


 
          People say the first thing someone new notices about you is something like your smile or other facial features, and in my case nothing is more true. Oh yay, It’s the first day of school! Alright so I have English first, okay good I’m at the right room. I’d better go in now so I can find a seat, oh gosh who are these people? I don’t know anyone and everyone is looking at me! My face starts warming up and feeling weird, my heart is beating really fast now. Ugh great it’s happening; stupid face. I scan the room another time and this time I notice Abby. Walking over makes my face glow just a little brighter, which is fantastic because I love it when my face grabs all the attention in a room. “ Dude your face is so red!” Thanks Abby, I couldn’t tell.

            In case you didn’t catch what I was just trying to explain, I’ll sum it up for you. I blush. But don’t be fooled by that statement and picture something cute like my cheekbones turning a little pink when I’m flattered or flustered. No, my face does this thing where in different kinds of situations it decides against my will, that it’s going to turn the brightest shade of red on the color wheel (That would be electric red, I looked it up). At first people will just stare or laugh- but it doesn’t end there.

            Sometimes I’ll be in school and the teacher asks the class for an response and I’m so confident in my answer that I’ll do something stupid like raise my hand. Everything is fine up to that point, but if the teacher decides to call on me, that’s when it happens. “Yes Maggie?” Wait, me? Um why did I put my hand up again and why does everyone have to turn and look in my direction just to hear me talk? I’m just about give my explanation but my face gets this really weird feeling that kind of makes my head feel like it’s pumped up like a balloon and is just about to explode. After I’ve answered and everyone is thoroughly amused, some really considerate person decides to remind me, “Maggie, oh my goodness your face just turned bright red!” Thank you so much you sweet gift of a human, I had no idea what was going on with my own face. Thank goodness I have you to remind me! Some people are just so nice.

            Now just picture becoming friends with someone that you find really cute, and really hilarious, so hilarious that every time he makes a joke you not only laugh, you also blush. In math he might say something really funny, and the first time I blush he’ll just forget about it, but the next time he asks me why. “Every time you laugh at me you get all red, why do you do that?” Oh I do? That’s really weird I don’t know why that happens? I just played it off and acted clueless (so smooth I know.) He thought that was a pretty stupid answer but whatever. Next time I blush he starts to get it, Maggie plus embarrassment/a joke equals a red face. Now he needs to test his theory. Next class he tries really hard to make me laugh and sometimes make me look dumb. Every time he is successful because my face turns hot as the sun and glows so bright that it’s kind of hard for him to look at. It’s time to take action. It’s F period English and everyone is quietly at work on a five paragraph essay, the prompt is A Good Friend. Mrs. Crandall stands up to give a little instruction, this is his opportunity. “Hey everybody look at Maggie she blushes!” All eyes on me and they get what they came for, my face is once again electric red and I stutter then turn my head toward the wall and hide it with my hand, just another smooth move by me.

            My weakness is now revealed. “Hey Maggie!” I laugh because the face he made was funny but my laughter comes at a price. “Haha see, look how red her face gets!” “Maggie your face just got so red!” “Oh my gosh Maggie do you like him? You just blushed so bad when he was talking to you!” Yes, not only does my face turn red when I’m embarrassed or I laugh, but you might also want to know that it’s the equivalent of a big alarm that goes off whenever I “like” someone, awesome right? “Uh wait so you’re saying that if I can get you to blush I’ll finally know if you like me or not?” It’s no secret anymore but oh well. You could ask me “Why does your face get so red” in a sassy tone and I’ll probably say it’s just this weird thing my face decides to do whenever it feels like it.

No comments:

Post a Comment